A clip from the musical Next to Normal.
Fro
Next to Normal is a rock musical with book and lyrics by Brian Yorkey and music by Tom Kitt. Its story concerns a mother who struggles with worsening bipolar disorder and the effect that her illness has on her family. The musical also addresses such issues as grieving a loss, suicide, drug abuse, ethics in modern psychiatry, and suburban life.
Next to Normal received several workshop performances before it debuted off-Broadway in 2008, winning the Outer Critics' Circle Award for Outstanding Score and receiving nominations for Drama Desk Awards for Outstanding Actress (Alice Ripley) and Outstanding Score. After an Off-Broadway run, the show then played at the Arena Stage in its temporary venue in Arlington, Virginia from November 2008 to January 2009.
The musical opened on Broadway in April 2009. It was nominated for eleven 2009 Tony Awards and won three, Best Original Score, Best Orchestration and Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for Alice Ripley. It also won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, becoming just the eighth musical in history to receive the honor. The previous musical to win the Pulitzer was Rent, in 1996, which was also directed by Michael Greif. In awarding the prize to Kitt and Yorkey, the Pulitzer Board called the show "a powerful rock musical that grapples with mental illness in a suburban family and expands the scope of subject matter for musicals."
From Wikipedia
Lyrics to read along:
DIANA (spoken)
You know, really?
What exactly do you know?
DAN (spoken)
I know you're hurting. I am, too.
DIANA
Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside not knowing when you'll dive.
Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?
When the world that once had color fades to white and gray and black.
When tomorrow terrifies you, but you'll die if you look back.
You don't know.
I know you don't know.
You say that you're hurting, it sure doesn't show.
You don't know.
You tell me let go.
And you may say so, but I say you don't know.
The sensation that you're screaming, but you never make a sound.
Or the feeling that you're falling, but you never hit the ground.
It just keeps on rushing at you day by day by day by day.
You don't know, you don't know what it's like to live that way.
Like a refugee, a fugitive, forever on the run.
If it gets me it will kill me, but I don't know what I've done.
You know, really?
What exactly do you know?
DAN (spoken)
I know you're hurting. I am, too.
DIANA
Do you wake up in the morning and need help to lift your head?
Do you read obituaries and feel jealous of the dead?
It's like living on a cliffside not knowing when you'll dive.
Do you know, do you know what it's like to die alive?
When the world that once had color fades to white and gray and black.
When tomorrow terrifies you, but you'll die if you look back.
You don't know.
I know you don't know.
You say that you're hurting, it sure doesn't show.
You don't know.
You tell me let go.
And you may say so, but I say you don't know.
The sensation that you're screaming, but you never make a sound.
Or the feeling that you're falling, but you never hit the ground.
It just keeps on rushing at you day by day by day by day.
You don't know, you don't know what it's like to live that way.
Like a refugee, a fugitive, forever on the run.
If it gets me it will kill me, but I don't know what I've done.
DAN
Can you tell me what it is you're afraid of?
Can you tell me why i'm afraid it's me?
Can I touch you?
We've been fine for so long now
How could something go wrong that i can't see?
Cause I'm holding on
and I won't let go
I just thought you should know
I am the one who knows you
I am the one who cares
I am the one who's always been there
I am the one who's helped you
And if you think that I just don't give a damn
Then you just don't know who I am
Could you leave me
GABE
Hey dad, it's me.
DAN
Could you let me go under?
GABE
Why can't you see?
DAN
Will you watch as I drown
BOTH
And wonder why
DAN
Are you bleeding?
GABE
Are you waiting? Are you wishing? Are you wanting all that she can't give?
DAN
Are you bruised? Are you broken?
GABE
Are you hurting? Are you healing? Are you hoping for life to live?
DAN
Does it help you to know,
BOTH
Well so am I
DAN
Tell me what to do.
GABE
Look at me.
DAN
Tell me who to be.
GABE
Look at me.
DAN
So I can see
BOTH
And you’ll see
DAN
I am the one who holds you
GABE
I am
DAN
I am the one who'll stay
GABE
I am
DAN
I am the one
DAN
Who won't walk away
GABE
I won't walk away
DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who'll heal you
GABE
I am
DAN
And now you tell me that I won't give a damn
GABE
You do give a damn
DAN
But I know you know
BOTH
Who I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who
BOTH
I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who
BOTH
I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who I am
Cause I'm holding on
GABE
And I won't let go
BOTH
Yeah I thought you should know
I am the one who knows you
I am the one who cares
I am the one who's always been there
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who needs you
And if you think that I just don't give a damn,
DAN
Then you just don't know who I am
DIANA
You say you hurt like me
You say that you know
Oh, you don’t know
I know you don’t know
You say that you’re hurting
I know it ain’t so
You don’t know
Why don’t you just go?
‘Cause it lays me low
And I’m saying
DIANA
You don’t know
DAN
Who I am
DIANA
You don’t know
DAN
Who I am
GABE
You just don’t know who I am
Can you tell me what it is you're afraid of?
Can you tell me why i'm afraid it's me?
Can I touch you?
We've been fine for so long now
How could something go wrong that i can't see?
Cause I'm holding on
and I won't let go
I just thought you should know
I am the one who knows you
I am the one who cares
I am the one who's always been there
I am the one who's helped you
And if you think that I just don't give a damn
Then you just don't know who I am
Could you leave me
GABE
Hey dad, it's me.
DAN
Could you let me go under?
GABE
Why can't you see?
DAN
Will you watch as I drown
BOTH
And wonder why
DAN
Are you bleeding?
GABE
Are you waiting? Are you wishing? Are you wanting all that she can't give?
DAN
Are you bruised? Are you broken?
GABE
Are you hurting? Are you healing? Are you hoping for life to live?
DAN
Does it help you to know,
BOTH
Well so am I
DAN
Tell me what to do.
GABE
Look at me.
DAN
Tell me who to be.
GABE
Look at me.
DAN
So I can see
BOTH
And you’ll see
DAN
I am the one who holds you
GABE
I am
DAN
I am the one who'll stay
GABE
I am
DAN
I am the one
DAN
Who won't walk away
GABE
I won't walk away
DAN
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who'll heal you
GABE
I am
DAN
And now you tell me that I won't give a damn
GABE
You do give a damn
DAN
But I know you know
BOTH
Who I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who
BOTH
I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who
BOTH
I am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
DAN
That's who I am
Cause I'm holding on
GABE
And I won't let go
BOTH
Yeah I thought you should know
I am the one who knows you
I am the one who cares
I am the one who's always been there
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I am the one who needs you
And if you think that I just don't give a damn,
DAN
Then you just don't know who I am
DIANA
You say you hurt like me
You say that you know
Oh, you don’t know
I know you don’t know
You say that you’re hurting
I know it ain’t so
You don’t know
Why don’t you just go?
‘Cause it lays me low
And I’m saying
DIANA
You don’t know
DAN
Who I am
DIANA
You don’t know
DAN
Who I am
GABE
You just don’t know who I am
DAN
Who's crazy, the husband or wife?
Who's crazy to live their whole life
Believing that somehow things aren't as bazaar as they are?
Who's crazy, the one who can't cope?
Or maybe, the one who'll still hope?
The one who sees doctors or the one who just waits in the car?
And I was a wild twenty-five,
And I loved a wife so alive.
But now I believe I would settle for one who can drive.
DR. MADDEN
...The round blue ones with food, but not with the oblong white ones.
The white ones with the round yellow ones, but not with the trapezoidal green ones.
Split the green ones into thirds with a tiny chisel, use a mortar and pestle to grind…
DIANA
My psychopharmacologist and I.
It's like an odd romance:
Intense and very intimate, we do our dance.
My psychopharmacologist and I.
Call it a lover's game.
He knows my deepest secrets.
I know his... name!
And though he'll never hold me
He'll always take my calls.
It's truly like he told me
Without a little lift, the ballerina falls.
CAST
Do doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Bipolar depressive with delusional episodes.
Sixteen year history of medication.
Adjustment after one week.
DIANA
I've got less anxiety but I have headaches, blurry vision, and I can't feel my toes.
CAST
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh.
DR. MADDEN
So we'll try again. Eventually, we'll get it right.
DIANA
Not a very exact science, is it?
CAST
Zoloft and Paxil and Buspar and Xanex, Depacon, Chronaphin, Ambien, Prozac,
Ativan calms me when I see the bills.
These are a few of my favorite pills.
DIANA
Ooh, Thank you, doctor, Valium is my favorite color. How'd you know?
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Second adjustment after three weeks.
Delusions less frequent, but depressive state worse.
DIANA
I'm nauseous and I'm constipated, completely lost my appetite and gained six pounds, which, you know, is just not fair.
CAST
May cause the following side effects, one or more:
Dizziness, drowsiness, sexual dysfunction,
GROUP 1
Headaches and tremors, nightmares and seizures.
GROUP 2
(unknown), constipation, nervous laughter, palpitations,
BOTH
Anxiousness, anger, exhaustion, insomnia, irritability,
Nausea, vomiting,
DIANA
Odd and alarming sexual feelings
CAST
OH! And one last thing:
Use may be fatal.
Use may be fatal.
Use may be fatal.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Third adjustment after five weeks.
Reports continue: mild anxiety and some lingering depression.
DIANA
I now can't feel my fingers or my toes. I sweat profusely for no reason.
Fortunately, I have absolutely no desire for sex.
Although, whether that's the medicine or the marriage is anybody's guess.
DR. MADDEN
I'm sure it's the medicine.
DIANA
Oh, thank you, that's very sweet, but my husband's waiting in the car.
DAN
Who's crazy, the one who's half gone?
Or maybe, the one who holds on?
Remembering when she was twenty, and brilliant and bold.
And I was so young, and so dumb.
And now I am old.
DAN
And she was wicked and wired.
The sex was simply inspired.
Now there's no sex, she's depressed
And me, I'm just tired, tired, tired, tired
Who’s crazy
The one who’s uncured
Or maybe the one who’s implored
The one who has treatment, or the one who just deals with the pain
DIANA
And though he'll never hold me
He'll always taken my calls
It's truly like he told me
Without a lift the ballerina falls.
My psychopharmacologist and I...
He’s at every sight I lie
Without you I die
My psychopharmacologist and I
DAN
They say love is blind...
But believe me, love is insane.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Seven weeks.
DIANA
I don't feel like myself. I mean, I don't feel anything.
DR. MADDEN
Hm. Patient stable.
Who's crazy, the husband or wife?
Who's crazy to live their whole life
Believing that somehow things aren't as bazaar as they are?
Who's crazy, the one who can't cope?
Or maybe, the one who'll still hope?
The one who sees doctors or the one who just waits in the car?
And I was a wild twenty-five,
And I loved a wife so alive.
But now I believe I would settle for one who can drive.
DR. MADDEN
...The round blue ones with food, but not with the oblong white ones.
The white ones with the round yellow ones, but not with the trapezoidal green ones.
Split the green ones into thirds with a tiny chisel, use a mortar and pestle to grind…
DIANA
My psychopharmacologist and I.
It's like an odd romance:
Intense and very intimate, we do our dance.
My psychopharmacologist and I.
Call it a lover's game.
He knows my deepest secrets.
I know his... name!
And though he'll never hold me
He'll always take my calls.
It's truly like he told me
Without a little lift, the ballerina falls.
CAST
Do doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Bipolar depressive with delusional episodes.
Sixteen year history of medication.
Adjustment after one week.
DIANA
I've got less anxiety but I have headaches, blurry vision, and I can't feel my toes.
CAST
Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh.
DR. MADDEN
So we'll try again. Eventually, we'll get it right.
DIANA
Not a very exact science, is it?
CAST
Zoloft and Paxil and Buspar and Xanex, Depacon, Chronaphin, Ambien, Prozac,
Ativan calms me when I see the bills.
These are a few of my favorite pills.
DIANA
Ooh, Thank you, doctor, Valium is my favorite color. How'd you know?
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Second adjustment after three weeks.
Delusions less frequent, but depressive state worse.
DIANA
I'm nauseous and I'm constipated, completely lost my appetite and gained six pounds, which, you know, is just not fair.
CAST
May cause the following side effects, one or more:
Dizziness, drowsiness, sexual dysfunction,
GROUP 1
Headaches and tremors, nightmares and seizures.
GROUP 2
(unknown), constipation, nervous laughter, palpitations,
BOTH
Anxiousness, anger, exhaustion, insomnia, irritability,
Nausea, vomiting,
DIANA
Odd and alarming sexual feelings
CAST
OH! And one last thing:
Use may be fatal.
Use may be fatal.
Use may be fatal.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Third adjustment after five weeks.
Reports continue: mild anxiety and some lingering depression.
DIANA
I now can't feel my fingers or my toes. I sweat profusely for no reason.
Fortunately, I have absolutely no desire for sex.
Although, whether that's the medicine or the marriage is anybody's guess.
DR. MADDEN
I'm sure it's the medicine.
DIANA
Oh, thank you, that's very sweet, but my husband's waiting in the car.
DAN
Who's crazy, the one who's half gone?
Or maybe, the one who holds on?
Remembering when she was twenty, and brilliant and bold.
And I was so young, and so dumb.
And now I am old.
DAN
And she was wicked and wired.
The sex was simply inspired.
Now there's no sex, she's depressed
And me, I'm just tired, tired, tired, tired
Who’s crazy
The one who’s uncured
Or maybe the one who’s implored
The one who has treatment, or the one who just deals with the pain
DIANA
And though he'll never hold me
He'll always taken my calls
It's truly like he told me
Without a lift the ballerina falls.
My psychopharmacologist and I...
He’s at every sight I lie
Without you I die
My psychopharmacologist and I
DAN
They say love is blind...
But believe me, love is insane.
DR. MADDEN
Goodman, Diana: Seven weeks.
DIANA
I don't feel like myself. I mean, I don't feel anything.
DR. MADDEN
Hm. Patient stable.
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